Building Unshakable Confidence: Unveiling the Power of Confidence Karma

Confidence – that elusive quality we all strive to possess. It empowers us, propels us forward, and enables us to conquer our most significant challenges. Yet, at times, confidence seems to evade us, leaving us feeling uncertain and hesitant. This blog post delves into the root causes of a lack of confidence. It explores practical strategies to reclaim and nurture our self-assurance. But first, let’s introduce a unique approach: Confidence Karma. This approach recognizes that we boost our own confidence as we seek to uplift others, creating a positive cycle of growth and empowerment.

What causes of a lack of confidence?

• Unfortunate comparisons: In the age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. Measuring our achievements against other people’s ‘highlight reels’ can erode our self-esteem and lead to a lack of confidence.
• Past failures: Negative experiences and setbacks can linger in our minds, creating self-doubt. ‘Reliving’ past failures without acknowledging the lessons learned hinders our ability to move forward with confidence.
• Fear of judgment: The fear of being judged or criticized by others can paralyze us. Worrying about what others might think stifles our authenticity and it prevents us from fully embracing our unique abilities.
• Self-limiting beliefs (SLBs): Deep-seated beliefs about our worthiness and capabilities can hold us back. These SLBs, often formed during childhood, create a fixed mindset that impedes our growth and stifles our confidence.

How Do You Fix a Lack of Confidence?

• Self-reflection: Awareness is the first step towards positive change. Start by examining the root causes of your lack of confidence. Be honest about the negative thoughts and beliefs hindering your self-assurance. 
• Embrace imperfection: Shift your perspective on failure. Understand that setbacks and mistakes are stepping stones to growth and success. Embrace the idea that perfection is unattainable, and that progress is more important than flawlessness.
• Cultivate self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and that it is okay to be imperfect. Nurture a loving relationship with yourself.
• Surround yourself with positive influences: Gaining support from encouraging people can positively affect your confidence. Seek out mentors, friends, or communities that uplift and inspire you. Their positivity will fuel your self-belief.

The Power of Confidence Karma

Now, let’s explore the innovative Confidence Karma approach. By focusing on building our own confidence, we become catalysts for confidence in others. Here are keyways to embrace Confidence Karma:

• Encourage and uplift: Offer genuine compliments and words of encouragement to those around you. By lifting others up, you create a positive and supportive environment that fosters growth and confidence.
• Share experiences: Open up about your struggles and triumphs. By sharing your journey, you inspire others to embrace their own challenges and build resilience. Remember, we’re all in this together.
• Mentor and support: By sharing your wisdom, you empower others to believe in their own abilities. It can start small. By offer guidance and mentorship to people who may benefit from your knowledge and experience your confidence will grow too.

In conclusion, confidence is not an unattainable trait reserved for a select few; it’s a journey and a skill that anyone can learn. By understanding the causes of a lack of confidence and implementing practical strategies, we can reclaim our self-assurance and embark on a journey of personal growth. So, let’s embrace the power of Confidence Karma. Let’s challenge the comparison trap and replace it with self-acceptance and self-love. Let’s acknowledge our past failures as valuable lessons and stepping stones toward success. Let’s release the fear of judgment and embrace our authentic selves unapologetically. Let’s shatter self-limiting beliefs and adopt a growth mindset that propels us forward. Remember that by the Confidence Karma approach, we not only build our own confidence but also become beacons of empowerment for those around us. As we uplift and support others, we create a ripple effect of confidence that reverberates through our communities.

Get in touch with Gary to discuss you goals, or just to ask a question about the book.

Check out:

• Gary Wood’s TikTok account
• Gary’s book Confidence Karma

About the author: Dr Gary Wood specialises in translating in evidence-based psychology and coaching principles into practical solutions. Having taught psychology and learning skills at UK universities, he is a frequent guest on radio and television, offering expert analysis and coaching tips. As a trusted agony uncle for numerous magazines and websites, Gary Wood’s insights are widely quoted in the press, establishing him as a go-to resource for personal growth.

TikTok: The Surprising Social Psychology Playground for Building Confidence

I thought I was over social media. Initially, I welcomed the distraction as an escape from the real world – a place to relax. Then, some platforms morphed into a showcase for the worst aspects of the real world. So, I deleted the apps from my phone and saw my usage plummet. Then I invested the time I saved on ‘doom-scrolling’ in to online courses from FutureLearn and Coursera. However, in a twist, I did a few courses on digital marketing with an eye on creating social change. Now I’m beginning to see social media in a new light, particularly TikTok. So if, like me, you thought TikTok is just an app full of dancing teens, think again. Its moved on.

I was aware of the app from younger relatives, and I looked at it probably a year ago. I thought it was brash and shallow and a massive waste of time. So, what changed? First, TikTok has changed, and this is user-led. When people adopt innovations, they often use them innovatively. With social media platforms, it’s never just about the content; it’s how we can use them meaningfully, both personally and culturally.

The catalyst for me revisiting TikTok was the re-publication of my confidence book. The publisher’s marketing team mentioned it. I agreed to have another look and discovered #BookTok. And I soon realized that there is a ‘Tok’ for pretty much anything! Yet, I still found the app to be brash and bewildering, but I slowly started to warm to it. My first move was to call in the experts to help me make sense of it, that is, my nephews and nieces. I only had to say, ‘Can you teach me about TokTik’ for them to laugh and ‘Show the oldie how it’s done’. Next, I signed up for a webinar on #BookTok and then did the Coursera specialization ‘Marketing with TikTok’, which I highly recommend. So with more information and a renewed sense of purpose, I changed too.

Now, it’s early days, but after following a few people on TikTok, I’ve realised that anything goes. That is, if I can get my sausage fingers to press the right keys on my phone at the right time. Quickly, I came to enjoy the sense of community on the app. To me, as a social psychologist, it is the most appealing aspect. We all crave connection and belonging and want to tell our stories to anyone who will listen. Also, as a coach, I appeal to clients’ imagination and creativity. TikTok is based on fun, creativity, a sense of belonging and collaboration. Ernest Hemingway once said, ‘We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.’ And as Oscar Wilde is supposed to have said ‘Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.’ These two quotations sum up TikTok.

The platform’s ethos is about creating a place where people get to express themselves in an authentic way. There’s less need for Instagram’s surface gloss and glamour. What appeals to me personally is TikTok’s brevity. Although we might argue that it’s contributing to shorter attention spans, it’s also an encouragement to ‘get to the ******* point!’ We can say a lot in 60 seconds. In that time, we can tell a complete story. And as a psychologist and coach, in a minute, I can give you a tool, tip, or technique to help boost your confidence. TikTok can be a goldmine for this type of content. But like anything else, the platform can be a timewaster. It is designed to keep you there as long as possible. And that’s where your goals come in. You need to use TikTok with a purpose in mind. That could be entertainment, empowerment, or education, but it helps to set a time limit. TikTok should break up the day not take over the day.

I know I will use TikTok in line with my values. My book is called ‘Confidence Karma: How to Become Confident and Help Others Feel Great Too’. And several themes in the book align with TikTok’s ethos. The central pillar of the book is ‘you boost your own confidence as you seek to build confidence in others’. The book is about helping you feel comfortable in your own skin and helping others do the same. I call it self-help with a social conscience, or self-help for social good. And running through the book is the theme of writing your own 60-second ‘elevator pitch’ to sell yourself which is perfect for TikTok. So do check out the book and join me on TikTok too. I’m still figuring it all out so it would be great to work it out together. Let’s have fun making sure what goes around comes around, that is, kindness, confidence, compassion, and creativity. See you there.

And I’ll end on the line from my first TikTok: Confidence loves company. Be the one to pass it on.

Check out:

• Gary Wood’s TikTok account
• Gary’s book Confidence Karma
• Coursera’s Marketing with TikTok

About the author: Dr Gary Wood is a social psychologist, personal development coach and broadcaster. He works with companies and individuals to translate evidence-based psychology and coaching into down-to-earth, workable solutions. He has taught psychology and learning skills in several UK universities and regularly appears on radio and television offering expert analysis and coaching tips. He has been an agony uncle for magazines and websites and is widely quoted in the press. Get in touch with Gary to discuss you goals, or just to ask a question about the book.

Endgame: Happiness and Awakenings (Ep. 27 – Season Finale)

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-9u33s-11d7792

In episode 27, the season’s finale of Happiness, a Sceptics guide, your hosts Paul Flower and Dr Gary Wood explore the topic of awakenings or personal transformations from the unlikely source of a story by Friedrich Nietzsche – a name not usually associated with happiness and wellbeing. As well as the usual tangents and asides, this episode continues the twin themes of self-reflection and storytelling as used in Gary’s book The Psychology of Wellbeing’ (published by Routledge). For the UK check it out at https://amzn.to/3gmgukd and for the US go to: https://amzn.to/3gmgukd

You might also want to take a peek at ‘Don’t Wait For Your Ship to Come In. . . Swim Out to Meet It’ – for UK see: https://amzn.to/37Je6T4  and for USA see: https://amzn.to/3KYqY68

To offer a little encouragement, please like, subscribe and share, wherever you find your podcasts. And if you’d like to make a small donation to the production coffers of Happiness, A Sceptics Guide, please visit Buy Me a Coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/scepticsguide

#psychology #humour

Happiness and Learned Optimism (Ep.26)

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-uijyw-11ccb9f

In Episode 26 of Happiness, A Sceptics Guide, your hosts Dr Gary Wood and Paul Flower looked at whether optimism and pessimism are personality types or just ways of explaining the world. This episode brings together ideas from Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Positive Psychology.

Check out Martin Seligman’s book ‘Learned Optimism. For the UK see https://amzn.to/3tmlk7K and for the USA see https://amzn.to/3N5FH0M

 

For a summary of ‘Learned Optimism’ check out Gary’s book ‘Don’t Wait For Your Ship to Come In. . . Swim Out to Meet It’ – for UK see: https://amzn.to/37Je6T4  and for USA see: https://amzn.to/3KYqY68

 

To offer a little encouragement, please like, subscribe and share, wherever you find your podcasts. And if you’d like to make a small donation to the production coffers of Happiness, A Sceptics Guide, please visit Buy Me a Coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/scepticsguide

Spring into Self-Care with Happiness, a Sceptics Guide (Bonus Ep.25)

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-9s2jn-11b1261

In this special bonus episode (Ep.25), your podcast hosts Paul Flower and psychologist Dr Gary Wood invite you to ‘Spring into self-care. The podcast offers the season of ‘green-shoots’ as a time to do a bit of spring cleaning to sweep in some happiness related changes and sweep out what’s not lifting you up. Gary introduces his idea of ‘Zen Ironing’ as a way to both change attitudes for unpleasant tasks, and as a model for getting organized. Gary offers the idea that all the little chores we love to hate are really acts of self-care.

For a complete personal development course in a book, to fully spring-clean your life, You check out Gary’s book ‘Don’t Wait For Your Ship to Come In. . . Swim Out to Meet It’ – for UK see: https://amzn.to/37Je6T4 and for USA see: https://amzn.to/3KYqY68

Please like, subscribe and share, wherever you find your podcasts. And if you’d like to make a small donation to the production coffers of Happiness, A Sceptics Guide, please visit Buy Me a Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/scepticsguide

 

Happiness and Positive Psychology (Using PERMA) (Ep.24)

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-69rqz-11afbb0

In Episode 24 of Happiness, A Sceptics Guide, your hosts Dr Gary Wood and Paul Flower continue to build on themes from earlier episodes. This time it takes a deeper dive into Positive Psychology, and the model of flourishing called PERMA, first mentioned in Episode 04 on Happiness and meaning.  PERMA is an acronym for Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Achievement.

This episode also carries on where the last one (Ep.23) left off and continues the conversation about gratitude. 

PERMA is covered in the penultimate chapter (six) in Gary Wood’s book ‘The Psychology of Wellbeing’ (published by Routledge). To read more about the book, for the UK go to: https://amzn.to/3gmgukd And for the US go to: https://amzn.to/3gmgukd

 

To check out the Tactics for Happier Living quiz visit: https://programs.clearerthinking.org/tactics_for_happier_living.html 

To check out the Daylio App visit: https://daylio.net/

The podcast hosts are not affiliated with either clearthinking.org or Daylio and they offer the links for information and discussion purposes only. 

Please like, subscribe and share, wherever you find your podcasts. And if you’d like to make a small donation to the production coffers of Happiness, A Sceptics Guide, please visit Buy Me a Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/scepticsguide

Happiness and Gratitude (Ep.23)

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-cqyb9-11ade2c

In Episode 23 of Happiness, A Sceptics Guide your hosts Paul Flower and Dr Gary Wood take a look at the link between gratitude and happiness. The episode also draws together themes from previous episodes on Stress (Eps 05 and 06), and Mindfulness (Ep.10).

To try the Gratitude and Anticipation Experiment, check out Gary’s video: https://youtu.be/gJ4mnO_Ynjk and supporting blog post ‘Getting the Gratitude Attitude that includes a PDF download to take part in the experiment: https://psycentral.wordpress.com/2010/02/25/gratitude-attitude-optimis-free-pdf-diary-sheet/

And, you can read more about gratitude in Gary’s book ‘Don’t Wait For Your Ship to Come In. . . Swim Out to Meet It’.  For the UK see: https://amzn.to/3t9xMXp and for the USA see: https://amzn.to/3LIg1Xk

To offer a little encouragement, please like, subscribe and share, wherever you find your podcasts. And if you’d like to make a small donation to the production coffers of Happiness, A Sceptics Guide, please visit Buy Me a Coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/scepticsguide

We’d be most grateful.

Happiness, Love and Relationships (Ep.22)

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-zjr4f-119a5f1

In Episode 22 of Happiness, A Sceptics Guide, your hosts Dr Gary Wood and Paul Flower look at the many splendoured thing called love.  They look at the different styles of love, and how passion, intimacy and commitment combine to form different types of love, and how this relates to happiness. The proceedings are punctuated by the usual ‘colourful’ asides.

For more on gender and relationships check out Gary Wood’s book ‘The Psychology of Gender’. published by Routledge. For Uk see: https://amzn.to/34hR0BA and for US see: https://amzn.to/3BbW8mZ (It’s available as a paperback, e-book and audio book).

‘How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.’ – Elisabeth Barrett Browning.

Happiness, A Sceptics Guide Review – The Story So Far Part Three (Bonus Ep.21)

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-g53zb-117921b

In this bonus review episode (Ep.21), Paul Flower and Dr Gary Wood look back over the previous five episodes of the Happiness, A Sceptics Guide podcast on the theme of making the happiness insights stick, to formulate a personalised happiness development programme.  In the four (of the five) episodes, the podcast explores the theme of storytelling:

• Telling Better Happiness Stories (Ep15)
• Happiness and Christmastime Survival Tips (Ep16). Bonus Episode
• Happiness, Goals and Resolutions (Ep17)
• Happiness, and Trust and Truth and Blue Monday (Ep.18)
• Happiness and Best Future Selves and Bucket Lists (Ep,19)

The present episode concludes with ideas from Paul of what the podcast should discuss next to keep the narrative moving in a worthwhile direction.

Please like, subscribe and share, wherever you find your podcasts. And if you’d like to make a small donation to the production coffers of Happiness, A Sceptics Guide, please visit  BuyMeACoffee or Auphonic.

 

Happy Lunar New Year: Happiness Is Coming (Bonus Ep.20)

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-u3vpa-117382f

In this bonus episode (Ep.20), Happiness, A Sceptics Guide takes a moment to drive home the point that there’s more to goal setting than January 1st. Instead, you can use another arbitrary day like the Lunar New Year.  Podcast host and psychologist Dr Gary Wood tells the story of how the Chinese character of ‘Fu’ symbolising happiness came to be upside down on Lunar New Year decorations. And in an effort to inspire sceptical co-host Paul Flower to action, explains how the themes in this tale relate to the themes in the podcast’s pursuit of a personalized programme of the pursuit of happiness and psychological wellbeing.

Please like, subscribe and share, wherever you find your podcasts. And if you’d like to make a small donation to the production coffers of Happiness, A Sceptics Guide, please visit  BuyMeACoffee or Auphonic.