Confidence & Media Myths
Our concept of what it means to be confident is sometimes distorted by gender stereotypes. Confidence is often seen as a masculine type trait. This is partly because we confuse confidence with bravado. Some self-help gurus don’t help this assumption. Often the proof that someone has gained confidence is the ability to engage in daredevil stunts. However, stunts such as walking on hot coals or bungee jumping have more to with recklessness than confidence. Reality TV shows are also all about contestants putting on a show. Being brash and ‘making an entrance’ is often equated with confidence. Nothing could be further from the truth.
True, inner confidence
True, inner confidence is more about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s a lot quieter than the over-the-top displays we associate with the traditional ‘blokey’ stereotype. In fact, confidence begins from a position of relaxation. It’s rooted in quietness. The traditional female stereotype is associated with nurturing. This is another aspect of confidence. Truly confident people put others at ease. If someone’s ‘confident display’ makes other people feel uncomfortable or intimidates then it isn’t true confidence.
True confidence is the mark of a well-rounded human being
The masculine stereotype could be characterized as ‘assertive’ and the traditional female stereotype as ‘nurturing’. So true confidence is a blend of these two qualities. If you develop your ability to relax and your skills at putting others at ease, these provide the perfect platform for assertiveness. If you’re stressed and angry and just think about yourself then the result is aggression. True confidence is the mark of a balanced, well-rounded human being. It’s positively contagious, so pass it on.
- Other coaching and confidence blog posts from Gary Wood
- Other posts on gender stereotypes
- Other posts on relaxation
- Life Coaching and Confidence Building with Gary Wood (in Birmingham and Edinburgh)
- Books by Gary Wood – Amazon Store (USA)
- Books by Gary Wood – Amazon Store (UK)
Reblogged this on The Psychology of Gender and commented:
I wrote this post in support of my approach to confidence building, outlined in my book ‘Unlock Your Confidence’. Although often linked with stereotypical masculinity, I argue that true confidence is not very boisterous at all.